Let me preface my inaugural entry by acknowledging that if anyone but my mom reads this blog, I will be very surprised and grateful. But it’s occurred to me in the past few years how blogging in general has produced a whole new identity for some people, whether good or bad. I think it’s really become more obvious as people I personally know have become well-known bloggers. Now I love reading blogs and have some favorites that I’m constantly checking on, but they’re generally people I’ve never met.
I’ve known my friend Jayne for nearly 27 years, though I haven’t actually laid eyes on her for at least seven. I keep tabs on her life periodically by checking her blog. By nature, Jayne is reclusive, mostly due to chronic anxiety and depression. About twelve years ago she started an at-home business in order to make money at something she loved and in order to avoid people. Eventually, she began blogging about her interests and seemed to have dropped off planet Earth. At first I thought, “Well, those things happen between friends, especially since we’re at different stages in our lives.” I figured that she still kept in touch with her closest friends with whom she shared common interests. A chance encounter with her hubby at the grocery store disproved this theory. He reported that the only people she communicates with are those who read and communicate with her through her blog. That made me sad. Although I’m a bit of a hermit by nature (just ask MY hubby), I couldn’t imagine only making and maintaining friendships via my keyboard.
Then, there’s my neighbor, Simone. She’s lived down the street from me for about five years. Although we’ve never been exactly friends, we’ve socialized in the same circle of neighbors several times a year. Initially, I found her to be very warm, friendly, and extremely creative. She loved her relatively new role as a mom and loved her neighborhood. She created a beautiful blog that I was recommending to my friends outside the neighborhood. Many enjoyed Simone’s blog, both for its aesthetics and its content. As her blog became more popular, though, I had a few mention that they had stopped reading it because the tone of the writing had changed. Simone’s whole image changed as well. Suddenly this nice suburban mom has recreated herself into an expert on all things domestic, stylish, and European. Is it wrong to want to re-create yourself? Nope. But it’s kind of eerie to watch someone who buys into her own blogging image. The neighbors who she is friends with find her to be less, well, neighborly. She avoids neighborhood events and has even been known to give backhanded compliments to some of her neighbor friends on her blog. My hubs thinks I’m crazy to give it a second thought. “Why the f*** would she not prefer her online fan club to people who see her everyday life?” I suppose it’s true. Based on the photos posted, how could someone in Anchorage know that in addition to her beautiful gardens, that her yard is constantly littered with toys? How could they know that this blogger who quotes from the Bible and praises Jesus can’t be bothered to wave back to me or the hubs as we drive by, usually just gracing us with a scowl before turning away? I suppose that’s the beauty of blogging. You can be whoever you want people to think you are.
It makes me anxious, though. In spite of my best efforts, could I be misrepresenting myself? Or do I want to recreate myself? If I had any readership, could I become a complete recluse?
Thanks for reading, Mom.
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